My friend died and I got retrenched

My friend died and I got retrenched

Note: This is a life update. I’ll also share some lessons learned.

Hello everyone,
How are you doing? It’s been ages since I’ve been posting; it’s because I’ve gone through a few drastic changes.

Firstly, we tried potty training with my two-year-old daughter from Friday and it went well. She’s been doing potty training at the crèche (nursery school) since December I think and I wasn’t ready to do my part yet.

retrenched friend died potty training
I’m finally potty training my little one. (Image: Melissa Javan)

I also kept in mind that we do road trips (did one in December and end of February this year) and our drives are mostly over two days (about a 12 hour drive a day). It’s convenient to have nappies when you are driving or walking about at a festival (like we did during our February trip).

Anyway, potty training went well. We had one pee (urine) in the pants moment and one “Mommy I made a kaka” (did a number 2) in the pants moment. Both these moments took place on Saturday. Friday and Sunday were a breeze.


motherhood retrenchment
Myself and Princess. (Image: Leslie Javan)

Well, I got retrenched and my last day was early March 2018. It is weird to not do work because I’m someone who enjoys the office environment.

The good thing is I have an interview away – thanks to a friend I met within the blogging world. As I did my preparation for the interview, I was reminded of what my skill set is.

Hold thumbs for me – some days I’m really optimistic and other days negative thoughts come. When the negative thoughts happen, I start watching motivational videos on YouTube.

RELATED POST: Thoughts Crossing My Mind As I Do My Job Hunting

During the retrenchments process, one of my close friends died in a car accident. This was a huge blow for me. The weird thing is, every time I think about her not being here, it’s so unreal. I can’t believe I’m never going to see her again.

You are the five people you hang out with most they say. || @leo_lives_here was fearless, to me at least. I knew she had stuff she worried about, I knew she had doubts just like the rest of us, but she was a "let's just do it" girl. Her fearlessness was a bit contagious too. Really we would drive up and down in dangerous areas for stories. I was a bit scared but I tried not to think about it. I've heard that you are who your friends are, and really, Leolynn was one of those inspiring friends who made you want to be a better you. Her eagerness to do a job was contagious. The drive she had definitely rubbed off on me. She's the type of person who'll tell you what she's learned from you, but then you feel like you've learned a lot from her. Anyway. #JustThoughts #Honesty #hminstachallenge #RIPLeolynn #friendsforever

A post shared by Melissa Javan (@melissajavan) on


I took a break from blogging because of the overwhelming things that took place in my life. Like Jessie J’s lyrics go: “It’s okay not to be okay… Just be true to who you are.” Also, it’s okay to take a break sometimes.

Obviously, the number one lesson is that life is unpredictable and that you’re never guaranteed your job – no matter how loyal or hardworking you are. I’ve always been someone who felt guilty when I job searched for something else, but hey, the thing is, life is unpredictable.

Plus, one needs to continuously grow – if you’re not growing within a position, it’s okay to look for greener grass.

I’m also volunteering for a non-profitable organisation in the meantime. This reminds me of the importance of teamwork. There’s a quote I like: “The strength of the team is each individual member. The strength of each member is the team.” – Phil Jackson

It takes me back to a school camp I went on, where we chanted: “It’s not about me, it’s about the team!”

Lastly, just because you’re not working, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a routine. I write down a list of things daily of what should be done, and I tick it off. It’s something I learned beack when I was an intern at a newspaper in Cape Town in 2008. I’ve been doing lists since then.

For those of you who are busy job-hunting, check out Cherralle’s blog posts:

Have a good day everyone! If you’ve gone through a change or two, let me know in the comments below. Thank you!


  1. Life sure is unpredictable. I’m sorry about your friend. Continue to hold on to all the beautiful memories.
    I’ve never been retrenched but I went through the process of retrenchment a few times. It sucks.
    I know there’s something greater for you. So all the best with the upcoming interview.
    In the meantime, enjoy the extra time with your princess and well done with the potty training thus far.

  2. So sorry for your loss. Wishing you a fruitful job search as well and lots of happy potty training.

  3. Sorry that you had to go through this Mel. But then on the hand it sounds like you are at peace and feeling positive- Remember nice people attract nice people! You will get a job that is even better than the one one you had. And with loosing a friend from an accident is never easy, may she rest in peace. Enjoy potty training your gorgeous daughter

  4. My condolences for your loss Melissa. One thing I do know about you is that you are a strong woman and when one door closes, a new one will open.

  5. Aaah Melis it has been tough! Chin up girl God has a way of working these things out. Take the time to reflect and have faith! We all behind you ❤️

  6. Oh Melissa. Sorry for your loss. Your friend and your job. Hang in there. I have to believe that there is something better for you just around the corner.
    Oh and potty training just sucks. I had five months of pooping in the pants it was hell! Hope it goes better for you!

  7. What I like most about this article is that in the midst of what you are going through , you are still trying to encourage and help others that are job hunting too. You heart is so in the right place. The best I yet to come. You are strong indeed.

    Love You


  8. A loss on top of another loss gosh girl I am sorry and yes its okay not to be okay. I am glad you have an interview lined-up. All the best girl sending you kisses and hugs.

  9. Melissa I am so sorry to hear about your friend. May her soul rest in eternal love and peace. I know that everything will turn out exactly as it should with regards to your job hunting. There are great things on your horizon. Onward and upward.

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