How fear is holding me back

fear holds you back

“You can create anything you want, and if when you know that, it’s pointless to compare yourself to other people.” – Vasavi Kumar, a certified business coach.

I read a blog post by someone yesterday who listed the 10 things she wishes she had known when she started blogging. Going through the list, I identified with it. Yes, writing blog posts (blogging) is hard work and you have to learn a lot of technical stuff about your website, which is not so lekker.

I then told the blogger that if I had known what I am getting myself into, I wouldn’t have started blogging. I remember that I just started a blog, because I wanted to document some things. I didn’t fuss about who’s going to read it, about not doing a lot of promotion of my website, or even what the hell I should write about.

How many times have you weighed the pro’s and cons of something you want to do? Have you found that when you stall or delay to act on an idea, your doubts become more?

*raising my hand*

fear holding me back creativity creator melissa javan

This takes me back to the time I failed the most at a certain thing in my life. I probably went for more than 20 driver’s tests at various traffic departments in Cape Town. I knew I had to get my driver’s license because it would help me get a job in journalism. I failed a lot – so because I was mocked by some people, I decided to stop counting how many times I went.

I stopped counting at the tenth driver’s test. Once I even realised that one particular driving school instructor taught me how to drive away from a pole – unlike the others. I then realised that some people don’t teach you how to do it the right way because they are out there to make money for themselves.

I now have my driver’s license after many failed attempts.

Looking back, I never thought of the future in my current situation (then). I just focused on the tasks I had to do to get there. Why can’t I seem to do it now? Why when I have an idea I am scared to implement it? So I delay in taking action. [insert people “boo-ing” now]

Recently I listened to one of my favourite podcasts Being Boss Club and Vasavi Kumar was the guest. She said this beautiful thing:

“If my art could help someone or put a smile on someone, it’s my duty and obligation to create.”
She added: “I have to answer to one person and that is myself.” [I had to add the last part because often our fear to take action is based on what we think other people will think of us.]

Vasavi continued: “My dad always said if you want to do something, don’t worry about the results – just do it.” [Don’t you just love that?]

Are you still scared?

Well, another thing I learned is that having an accountability partner or a life/ business coach or mentor helps.

For instance, last week was my second meeting with my blogging accountability partner after we agreed to meet once a month to discuss progress. This beautiful woman was grilling me lekkertjies. I complained about my lows and she was like: No dear, I want to hear about your high’s. What did you achieve and how did you achieve it?

My accountability partner was like: 'What did you achieve and how did you achieve it?'

Say whaaaaaaat? Really, she was into that. After we talked about my highs and how I got there, she asked me what am I going to continue on doing to achieve my goals for the next month. I seriously didn’t think of this before she said it. Holler to my accountability partner, Karin Londt.

An accountability partner/ mentor also reminds you of your strengths [and we tend to forget these].

I don’t even know how to end off this blog post, but I will say this: fear will always make its appearance. It is up to us to continue doing the tasks, focusing on the end goal.

No matter how long it takes, you will achieve the end goal. So create, don’t stop because of fear. Just do.

What motivates you to get to your goal? Have you ever experienced fear as you were busy creating something? Let me know in the comments below please. Thank you!

19 thoughts on “How fear is holding me back

  1. Yep, fear is a liar. Once we realise that, the sky is truly our limit. Thanks for the shout out. I’m glad you get as much out of our sessions as I do!😘

  2. I love this! Totally need to formalise my accountability partner relationship. This is awesome. So so many fears too. But I am pushing. Thanks for sharing!! xx

  3. This is an awesome post Melissa! I hope to get a blogging accountability partner soon – what a cool idea. Because it’s tough! Especially when your friends and family don’t get what you’re doing or why you’re blogging, etc. Just the “pick me up” I needed after lunch to push through the rest of the day. Thank you! πŸ™‚

  4. I had a friend that was bright as a daisy but because he had some bad driving habits (from driving on construction sites)… he went 11 times for his drivers test

  5. Fear is truly a great force to deal with. For me, conquering fear is a work in action. Having people who trust in me, love and are rooting for me makes such a difference.

  6. I love the quote, “The fears you don’t face become your limits.” So very true. God has been working (hard) on me in facing my fears. Whenever possible, I try to do something that completely terrifies me and guess what – I’m starting to overcome! It also helps, from a blogging perspective, to write for the Lord with direction from the Lord and set aside any “needs” to perform well with a certain mark of post view, comments, etc. It’s not easy, but it sure is effective. Thanks for the reminder to press on!

  7. I just love this line- β€œMy dad always said if you want to do something, don’t worry about the results – just do it.” I can totally relate with you Mel. I’m in constant battle with my own fears too but I know my will power is stronger. It’s also great to have a husband so supportive on my blogging journey and a son who believes I’m good enough to write πŸ™‚ They’re my biggest source of motivation.

  8. Thanks for sharing this post. I also love the quote, “My dad always said if you want to do something, don’t worry about the results – just do it.” I also like your suggestion of an accountability partner – this is a really important person to have in one’s life, especially when we start forgetting our strengths.

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