Can you as a woman have it all?

Can you as a woman have it all?

“A mother is the light of the house; if the light is out, everybody else is down.” – Elizabeth Nel, my mother.

I think my mother used to motivate herself with those words when she had “off days”. It’s something she used to tell me, but I never really paid attention to it …until I became a mother myself.

Let me tell you, I’ve always thought “I’ll never be as good a mom like my mother has been”. Last week though during the #SistaHoodHour Twitter chat, someone told me: “You’re the best mom for your kids.” Lit statement hey.

It made me realise that even though I won’t be as good as my mother, I will be different, unique and the best for my child. Maybe my child will feel the same about me as I do about my mother – I hope so!

Okay, so background:
Phumeza Mzaidume, founder of the #SistaHoodHour and I met at a content creators workshop organised by travel blogger Katchie Nzama in February 2017. Katchie is also known as The Solo Wandera. Phumeza and I didn’t really speak at the event but later I checked out her Twitter timeline and found she was pretty LIT. [Okay, I’m going to stop using that word now.]

She in the public relations industry and is the founder of the Twitter chat #SistaHoodHour which takes place on Wednesdays during lunch time [13:00 to 14:00]. The chat is centered around women’s issues and us connecting with each other – in other words, promoting sisterhood.

So on Wednesday 5 July 2017 the topic of the day was “Can we as women have it all?” I’ve never even considered this. Who am I to have it all? My house isn’t even being spring cleaned on a daily basis – I would rather cook, take care of my child and husband and my sanity than add spring cleaning to that list. It’s just too much for me.

I view people who “have it all” as those who look super fit, smartly dressed and having having a ball on their social media timelines – like all the time. The successful businesswomen… So how I can I even think about “do I have it all?” I can’t even afford to buy a pair of boot right now.

Related post: How fear is holding me back?

During this chat though I learned that we all have different things that we want – different things make us happy.

The fact that my mother told me “a mother is the light of the house” made me want to live intentionally. I intentionally want to be a happy person in front of my child. In order for me to be happy, I have to take care of myself and empower myself.

In the last few months I have been watching webinars and listening to podcasts to learn about things like content marketing. Learning this, knowing more about the subject than my peers and teaching others about what I have learned, makes me feel confident. It makes me happy to share my knowledge.

Related post: How I figured out what niche to specialise in

It is also good when I attend a workshop once in a while. I get to have “me-time” while husband attends to Princess. I get to meet new people and learn from them.

This makes me happy. In a way, it’s a little bit of having it all. Just a teensy weensy bit. To be honest, I don’t think I will ever have it all, but I will try to always be happy, to be empowered.

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During the chat, Phumeza reminded us that having it all comes in different seasons – meaning not everything you want will come at once. Holler!

I think life would be a bit boring if we didn’t have challenges hey.

Here are some messages shared during the #SistaHoodHour chat:

What do you think – how do you define having it all?


  1. Love the comment about defining what “having it all” means to you personally. That kind of mindset flips the script so you are deciding what is important to you and not basing that on a set standard.

  2. Your post puts so much in perspective! I definitely think that the word “all” is so subjective and fluid. In my younger years, my idea of “all” meant having the right clothes and physique, significant other, material wealth, a successful career, and a robust social life. Now, it means having time for my family, time to sleep, a meaningful and fulfilling career, a cozy home, and having enough money to not have to worry about my next meal.

  3. This was a really good post. It’s funny how the pursuit to having it all sometimes leads to being more miserable than before. My grandma told me that for a happy life we count our blessings and work hard. <3 xo. Thank you for sharing.

  4. Having it all can be having peace from one day to the next. Feeling love. Giving love. Having it “all” I feel is so much deeper than the physical or the material! xo! D

  5. So true hey – i love this “having it all is so much deeper than the physical or the material”.

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